Sore Souls and Hurting Hearts

I have found the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion.”       

Dalai Lama

These past nine months in the United States have been confusing, isolating, and painful.  Each day in the news or personally we witness fear and/or skepticism, along with sickness and/or death.  And just about every single one of us has experienced loss, such as:

• Loss of our daily routine, of what was “normal” for us.
• Loss of health for those contracting Covid-19.
• Loss of a job, with millions out of work.
• Loss of companionship, and/or mental health therapy.
• Loss of family members and friends by “natural causes” who cannot be mourned right away.
• Loss of a friend, an acquaintance, or a partner for whom you are unable to publicly acknowledge in a significant way.
• Loss of an election for over millions of people.

In these cases, and many more instances of loss, there is sadness and, sometimes, an inability to move forward.

What bothers me is that so few people are acknowledging the pain of these losses, either their own or those of others.  If we have been spared the pain, we might feel lucky or guilty.  We become anesthetized to the numbers of deaths, even as we approach 250,000. The people who have died are mother, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons, companions, co-workers, neighbors, and friends. If each one of these people who have died had  untold numbers of additional people carry the pain from that loss.

Maybe we suffer through others, vicariously feeling their pain and an inability to move through it.  Following the tragedy of 9/11, I did not know one of the people who died, but I felt sick and was unable to express this properly.  I feel somewhat the same with this tragic pandemic.

That all of these losses in today’s world bring pain is normal. Not recognizing the losses, not talking about them, and not working to understand and cope with them, is a problem.

Many people have sore souls, and their hearts hurt. I am interested in lending a voice to try to influence peace for others. For the past few decades I have listened to hundreds of people who have experienced the pain of loss.  No one person can absolutely understand exactly what another person feels. 

But, listening does help.

I can’t sew masks, I am not a health care provider or paramedic. I do not have a license as a therapist or chaplain.  But I have been told that I’ve helped others by giving my undivided attention for people to share what disturbs them.  Maybe I might reflect back something that helps.  Maybe I say nothing and listen to your pain. Maybe I have heard what has helped others.            

I would like to share with you how I have listened in the past, what I feel is important to recognize about loss, and how people may move forward.  If this sounds interesting and helpful, please check back here next week for more thoughts and the hope of being At Peace.