Too Nice?

Years ago, I decided to leave the human resources management field but had no idea where I would end up working. Someone suggested I meet with a recruiting professional, sometimes called a “head hunter.” I was somewhat leery, but having no other ideas, I called the recommended person and scheduled a meeting.

The meeting date arrived. I had no big expectations except a hope for some guidance. I was led into the office of the gentleman I was to see, extended my hand to shake his, smiled and thanked him for seeing me. After chit chat, he asked me to summarize my career focusing on my likes and dislikes. I tried to capture in about ten minutes my twenty years of working in the HR field.

I sat back and awaited his response. He proceeded to offer his perspective of me. As I remember he said, “I don’t really see you as being successful in business.” 

 Long silence. “Why do you say that?” I asked.

“Well, you come here with this bright smile, thanking me for doing nothing and then you tell me all the good things you have done.  No one buys that today – frankly, you are just too nice!”

I thought he might be kidding or testing me in some way. I smiled as I rose abruptly, reached out my hand again, and thanked him as I turned and departed. I thought the visit was worthless.

After my resignation from HR, I volunteered in a ministry which visited troubled people. I realized that in visiting the lost and lonely, nice was pretty much required. On the next work gig I helped care for bereaved families. I worked there about 18 years. Nice was not a nasty word in that environment.

Do you know if you Google “Be Nice” you are sent to a Black Eyed Peas music video that features Snoop Dogg and the song, “Be Nice?” One lyric said, “Just smile – I promise it will change your life.”  https://www.youtube.com, search Be Nice.

There was also a Be Nice clothing line. Their motto: Make the World a Nicer Place. You also will be directed to a mental health foundation named Be Nice in West Michigan. They work to prevent suicides. 

With the anxiety, loss, and brokenness in the midst of the pandemic, rancor in politics and public policy, war in Ukraine and elsewhere, many in the world would benefit from the kindness that may flow from nice. Psychology has proven that helping others through compassion and kindness boosts happiness and resilience https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/do-the-right-thing/201803/being-nice-matters.

My pastor often says that the two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you discover why. I didn’t know it then, but that brief conversation with the head hunter years ago helped me realize why I am in the world.  I pray that your days are nice, filled with kindness, and you are At Peace!