Where Do We Turn?

In the midst of the Thanksgiving holiday season, our country, our state, and especially our community of Hampton Roads, Virginia were shocked by horrendous mass shootings which, once again, have touched many families and all those who loved the victims. Colorado Springs (11/19),Charlottesville VA (11/13), and Chesapeake, VA (11/22) are suffering through grief and loss. I was going to say, the sudden and unexpected grief and mourning, but is it really?

According to multiple sources, there have been a total of more than 600 mass shootings in the U.S. in 2022. So, are the recent ones really “unexpected?” When mass shootings happen over 600 times in the same year it is difficult for me to regard them as “not likely to happen.” The Washington Post in a story this week cited the U.S as having a “homicide crisis,” especially when adding individual shootings.

I feel as if we could write blog posts every month and speak to people who have been touched by traumatic killings. Nine family and close loved ones are now in mourning each loss, but thousands of people all tolled. In Charlottesville, for example, the entire University of Virginia is suffering the loss three young people, and critical injuries to others. In Chesapeake, six people died and five in Colorado. 

From the pandemic, which still results in over 300 deaths per day, to a multitude of traumatic shootings there seems to be no end in sight.  I would like to remind everyone again to show empathy to these situations. Listen to friends and colleagues with an ear of acceptance to their feelings. There are people who never set a foot in Charlottesville and know nothing of the young people whose lives have ended, but who are upset, maybe even distraught, about the situation. 

The same applies to the Chesapeake tragedy. We watch the television news and find ourselves saddened and vicariously impacted. First, pray for the bereaved families and for your responses. Talk through your feelings, fears or next steps. Perhaps write thoughts in a journal or consider a letter to a newspaper’s editor, the social media or to your representative in Congress. Do not hide or bury your feelings because that is a recipe that could ultimately result in physical or behavioral health problems. As my mentor and friend Dr. Alan Wolfelt says “our goal is to help people mourn well, so that they can live well and love well!”

Be a part of a solution to these horrendous outcomes. Choose to help whatever cause you believe may support a step forward to rid our country of these debacles. Be part of the efforts to remember those whose lives were lost, even if you did not know them. Contribute your hands, your feet, your opinions, and/or your resources to help address the factors which led to these shameful events. Being a part of a solution will help everyone turn from the horror to effective responses. And that will help so many to be, At Peace.