Last week I read a nice little story in The Guardian newspaper U.S. edition. Written by Anthony Seldon, he reflects on Celebration Day, May 26, 2023. He writes, “I am not sure that people do die – if dying means annulling, disappearing, or being extinguished. They live on in the memories of those who knew and loved them.”
He goes on to write about the people in his life with whom he has had conversations. These conversations are not one-way communications. He speaks of hearing his deceased wife’s voice and envisioning her beautiful smile.
The article was lovely. In the midst of so many of us dealing with loss these days, I thought I would underscore the value of embracing memories in dealing with grief and loss. I have touched on this topic previously and even written a book about the deeper look at the concept of after death communications (ADCs).
The wonderful friends I made in writing the book taught me about the many means by which families have communicated with their deceased loved ones and vice versa. Like Mr. Seldon, they literally spoke with their loved ones. But they also sensed their presence in other ways. One family connected with their son Jamie through the story from a friend who heard his voice saying, “Tell my father I’m okay and to watch for the yellow dog.” Not long after this, Jamie’s grandfather was sitting on a senior center van when a golden retriever dog boarded the van and rested his head on his lap for a few moments, and then left the bus.
Others see butterflies or coins on sad days which have special connections with loved ones. Another person clearly smells the deep, rich aroma of her father’s pipe tobacco, when she could not sleep.
The folks I spoke with about these phenomena almost always led their descriptions with, “Don’t think I’m crazy.” While some would call their experiences hallucinations, I honor these communications as comforting messages for grieving families.
I often end condolence cards I write with a hopeful wish/prayer that bereaved families may find comfort in the beautiful memories they have of loved ones, even if they are not as spectacular as ADCs.
I love this quote by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” May you be At Peace!
At Peace 