I attended a Celebration of Life last week at my church. The person whose life we celebrated died over three years ago.
I often am asked, “What exactly is a Celebration of Life?” This question is difficult to answer because in my experience the event may mean different things to each family which organizes them. Different stokes for different folks, so to speak.
Typically, a Celebration of Life event is more casual than a service in a church. Often the event brings people together who prefer not to have any or very little conversation from a faith-based point of view. The focus is solely on the deceased where attendees express loving thoughts and events of the deceased person’s life. Casual attire is often requested, sometime with specific colors or depictions of the life of the loved one.
The Celebration I attended was a more formal event, a church worship service, but with a beautiful opportunity to give voice to the family – two daughters shared stories of their mom. Other members of the family participated by reading from the Bible and all attending sung hymns which reflected the deceased’s life. A reception followed where all attendees could greet the family as well share their experiences with others.
These events may be significantly different but the important part, in my opinion, is to allow folks who cared for or loved the person to publicly take part in the act of mourning. The participation in taking their grief public (mourning) is of primary importance for bereaved people and enables them to express their grief with others who would understand. Some may be more comfortable with friends in a social environment; others may appreciate a theological focus.
I have read a few studies about delays or deferrals of funerals/life celebrations during the pandemic. This limited research indicates that during the pandemic, deferral of bereaved people’s opportunity to “say goodbye” to their loved ones and friends led to adverse psychological outcomes. Virtual viewings of limited attended funerals during the pandemic likewise offered little bereavement support.
A few years ago, the daughter of a good friend asked me to offer some comments at a “Celebration of Life” in memory of my friend. The event took place in a VFW Hall and everyone was asked to wear tropical clothes – my friend loved Jimmy Buffet. With the family’s permission, the locale gave me the opportunity to tell a few humorous stories about my friend, but also share a Scripture reading which was perfect for my friend. A number of people shared with me that they appreciated hearing both types of stories. I worry about families and friends who have no means by which they can mourn the death of loved ones, whether by traditional funerals or the more casual Celebration of Life event. From my perspective, a public gathering after a death is vital for mourning. The gathering can take place three days, three months, or three years following the death. People appreciate coming together around rituals, whether in a place of worship or place of social get-togethers. Let us bring comfort to those who grieve, and may they be At Peace.
At Peace 