I woke up last week confronted with thoughts of grief resulting from the growing number of horrific deaths throughout the world. As I read the newspaper and watched the quick-rising casualties related to the wars in Israel and Ukraine, the result of another major earthquake in Afghanistan, and the daily tally of gun related violence across the country, I felt the heaviness of these tragedies and disasters.
I started writing this blog during the COVID pandemic, thinking that I might be able to help readers attend to the grief response they may feel personally. Many of us have experienced personal losses in the past few years. But as soon after we begin to escape the magnitude of the pandemic, our world seems to fall apart.
Many of the reports of grief revolve around families of loved ones who have died. Other reports may include the impact on professional caregivers such as physicians, emergency responders, and mental health professionals. We certainly empathize with all of these people. But what about the people who have no direct personal connection to the tragedy and yet feel the anxiety, depression and pain associated with the distant disasters? Even when you are safely separated from these experiences many of us actually feel the impact of sadness and dread arising from them.
Not reading the newspapers, turning off television, or not listening to the radio isn’t a solution. We should be aware of world events, even if they are horrendous. What I hope to do is suggest a few ways in which those who care and grieve vicariously can adapt to these disasters.
We need to return to an understanding of our grief and the need to mourn. First, acknowledge the reality of what has occurred. Make sure you are hearing accurate information. I have heard about people constantly scanning social media for internet bad news – it is called doom scrolling, and is considered detrimental to our mental health.
Feel the pain of loss in doses. Respect the discomfort in your body and your emotions. Find someone willing to occasionally listen to your distress, and speak of these feelings. Revealing your pain is important in reconciling grief. Strive to not be completely preoccupied by the situations. Dose yourself by stepping aside from the pain to exercise, take a silent walk, listen to music, pray or read stimulating stories. Relying on faith traditions may be important to you following such challenging times.
Seek meaning. Why might you be feeling so sad? How might you respond to issues which bother you? This is a tough one, particularly the war in Israel. The complexities of the politics could make this a challenge to the person feeling vicarious grief. Differences of opinion with others make common ground hard to find. Being listened to by a non-judgmental person may reveal ways to express your caring in helpful ways. Attending vigils in your community or contributing to organizations helping people recover from the tragedies may provide some help.Your prayers and commitment to help those impacted by horrible events are excellent acts of humanity. Know that your pain will move you forward. And remember, taking care of your physical and mental health during these traumatic times will also help you find yourself At Peace.
At Peace 