Dia De Los Muertos

I read a newspaper article this week that reminded me of  Mexico’s Sunday (November 1) commemoration of The Day of the Dead, the traditional visits to graveyards. Last year they had to forgo the Day because of the pandemic. The Day of the Dead provides symbolic means to outwardly honor the lives of their deceased loved ones. Their homes are traditionally decorated with photos, memorabilia, and additional reminders, many incorporating the sacredness of their faith in the displays. Colorful sugar skulls like those in the picture are often used on home altars. 

But wait…there’s more! On Monday, All Saints Day, the memorials marked those who died in childhood. On Tuesday, All Souls Day, those who died as adults are honored. In addition, Mexico is doing something this year I wish the U.S. would create in our own way—they have established a special altar in downtown Mexico City dedicated to those who died of COVID-19! Mexico estimates that 440,000 people have died in their country from the pandemic.

For about 19 years my staff and I explored ways to honor deceased organ and tissue donors, who have given the gift of life. I like to think we did good work, but Mexico as a country offers a national togetherness honoring the dead that is somewhat lacking in the U.S. Recognizing those who have died with these holidays in separate commemorations, and providing a collective means of recognizing the COVID deaths is a wonderful way to help the bereaved mourn.

Years ago, a fellow employee who was born and grew up in Mexico journeyed back for the Day of the Dead festivities. There were celebrations of lives with the families taking the favorite foods and beverages of the deceased to the grave site to remember, laugh and talk. He brought me back an example of a token a typical family may use on their altar. He was very excited to give me this gift, and I was honored to receive it.

My mentor, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, would often say that as we work with the bereaved we should encourage them to “transfer the loving relationship of presence to the loving relationship of memory.” In Mexico, many people accept death and find ways to acknowledge the presence of their loved ones in memory. In doing so, they continue to live with joy and meaningful purpose.

Our country is still in the midst of great loss. My prayer/hope is that more people will find ways to reconcile loss in their lives so that they may live well, love well, and be At Peace.