A Tender Heart

Once again, I am “blown away” (excuse the reference) about the loss we are experiencing in the U.S. The folks in Hawaii (Maui) are suffering the horrible consequences of wildfires. More than one hundred are dead and homes, stores and cities have been significantly damaged. Searches for others lost in Hawaii continue. Southern California storms not experienced since the 1930’s have impacted the life of folks there. 

These situations result in major grief and loss for the rest of the survivors’ lives. I’ve written about grief never “reaching  closure,” but felt I should once again outline how grief never goes away.

Savannah Guthrie, star host of the Today Show, recently described her grief on a podcast (Brooke Shields, Aug. 8, 2023).  Mrs. Guthrie spoke about the loss of her father from a heart attack when she was sixteen years-old. She thought that her life may have been “totally different” had her father would have lived. She continues to mourn.

She said that her grief was like a cup. Currently, she has one cup which she must empty and “every last drop will not empty until she leaves this world.” She expressed another interesting aspect of her grief. She said “some things since the death of her father changed her for the better.” She said she knows her heart, “is more tender.”

What a beautiful way of thinking of the normally brutal results of death, that “your heart may become more tender.” She is talking about being more empathic, which I have written about recently (see Grieving Forever, July 2,2023,  The World According to Michael, April 14, 2023, Offering Companionship , March 20, 2023, The Empathy Gap, Feb.26, 2023).  As a prominent  Today show host, Savannah Guthrie having a tender heart had to help when interviewing folks dealing with the many tragedies they endured.

In a world where you hear that “no one cares any more” and that we have a population that does not know how to help others by showing compassion and empathy, it is refreshing to see a television star telling us how she “grew” following the death of a love one.

I believe we can all do this. When you feel the pain of the loss you may have had a lesson, and that lesson may prepare you for hearing other people’s losses.

My prescription then is to be attentive to people we meet and, when appropriate, offer a listening ear. Many times, people are not looking for a professional grief counselor but someone who offers listening ear. And most people appreciate someone with a tender heart!May you be At Peace!